I had spent the past few days doing my business accounting to file my tax return by the 15th of June (I get extra time because I'm self-employed), and it was sobering. Last year revenues were down 30% plus I'm also faced with the reality that a major client is being restructured at the moment. Full effect of this won't be evident until a few months from now, after which I will probably have to market myself to new people. Ottawa, being the government town that it is, completely slows down for summer and no real decisions are made until the leaves start to turn colour in September. A perfectly bad storm. I could stick around and stress about it, or dip into some equity to get inspired and recharged for when it's time to jump into action.
With work at half load and the weather being erratic on the miserable side, last month I distracted myself by fixing up my long neglected front yard. I had lost a century-old elm tree to dutch elm disease several years ago, and I never got enough motivation to do any improvements after the garden was depressingly decapitated of its centrepiece. I let it lie fallow as wild violets and dandelions took over. So I unleashed my restless creativity on it and built a waterfall.
"Maybe the street's alight, maybe the trees are gone...
...From underneath the rubble sing a rebel song"
As I was building it, this song from a couple years ago came back to my head:
"Maybe I'm in the black, maybe I'm on my knees
Maybe I'm in the gap between the two trapezes
But my heart is beating and my pulses start
Cathedrals in my heart
As we saw, oh, this light
I swear, you emerge blinking into
To tell me it's alright
As we soar walls
Every siren is a symphony
And every tear's a waterfall"